Will someone else break the news to my favorite aunt that I am not, as she has labeled me all these years, "beautiful inside and out"? I always had a feeling, but now I know it is officially true. I know, because today a really cute inside-parts doctor told me in no uncertain terms that my kidneys aren't pretty. Which is really a drag, since they were on my short list of things I don't hate about myself. Size of feet, number of arms, formation of kidneys. Now the list is even shorter.
Once a boy tells you you're not pretty inside, you change a little. I'm not going to turn to prostitution or anything, but I sure won't be wearing a kidney-exposing outfit anytime soon. I just know people are going to sense it when they pass me in stores.
"Mommy! Mommy! What's wrong with that lady?" (Pointing.)
(Mother slaps rude pointing child's hand for being rude and pointing.)
"She has ugly kidneys. Now stop staring or you'll get ugly kidneys, too."
As of now the prognosis is still unknown, so I just hope all my pretty-kidneyed friends will still like me. I know my sister will, but I'm pretty sure that's only because we're on an even playing field, since her liver has got to need a makeover by now.