You can say what you want about me--I don't eat well, my celebrity crushes are odd at best, I have an unnatural absence of arm muscle--but the one thing you can never say is I don't know how to party. I've been on a pity party for at least a week now, and it was still going strong tonight until I opened my jar of Honest Tea (thanks to Audrey at Artemis for recommending such a fine beverage). I happened to look over at the lid, just in passing, while I reached for the remote because I didn't even have the strength to sit through a commercial. There I saw a message.
It read: To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time. -Leonard Bernstein
Here's another wise statement for you: When your green tea has more gumption than you do, things need to change. But it is a great quote, and it did get me thinking. What is my plan? I joke about my plan, because it really doesn't seem plausible (publishing a book of personal essays). It's like when people ask you what you'd do with a million dollars. "Well, I'd obviously pay the Government to ensure I never have to hear about Octomom again," you laugh. Sure, you're serious, it's a fantastic idea, but you don't think it will really ever happen. The good thing is, even if it did, I'm pretty sure my life won't change much. Only everyone will know how my sister stabbed me with a pencil once, and you can still see the lead in my shoulder. (That juicy spoiler was free. You're welcome.)
I do always feel that there is never enough time. I mean, if I'm showered with clean hair four out of five days at work, I feel that I'm succeeding in life. So apparently, I'm on my way to achieving great things. But lately, it's hard to believe. I couldn't even manage to get my cell phone past the guard at a free movie screening this week. I hid it in the crotch of my pants, then I started to walk and it tumbled down my leg. Convinced I looked like some kind of transvestite with a hemorrhoid problem, I panicked and ran out to my car. Great things? I'm not so sure.
But I do have a plan. I don't have enough time. And I am now powered with "approximately 1/4 the caffeine of coffee." That sounds like a great start. And maybe that's all I need right now.
Sorry, everybody. Party's over. Time to get back to work!