Thursday, May 28, 2009

Name That Cow

It was bound to happen. We moved to a small town in Missouri, fell in love with it and decided to stay. So of course, we had to buy cows. What my husband refers to as "investment opportunities," however, are pets to love as far as I'm concerned. Either way, our most recent portfolio additions -- diverse as they are -- don't have much in the way of names. I know it sounds trivial, but it's just awkward making introductions: "This is our youngest, Number Five."

So when I actually succeeded in saving my favorite cow, #30 from a slaughterhouse fate (convincing someone to buy her and leave her intact until she dies of natural cow causes) I knew I had to rectify the situation. Better yet, I knew YOU had to, seeing as how the moment we named our cat, she began to hate us and we've suffered ever since. (A tip from me to you: Squeege is not an acceptable name for a pet.)

So here's your chance to name that cow!

Post your submissions here by Monday. The winner? Will be judged based on a very scientific, error-free system. In other words, I'll pick the most creative, best fitting and most likely the easiest to remember. You'll be famous forever, plus you'll get a free six-pack of beer from Weston Brewing Company with my compliments.

And feel free to stop by and say hello on your next trip into Weston. See the pasture right before Red Barn Farm? She lives there. If you stop and head over to the fence, she'll probably head over to say hello.

I can't wait to see what you guys come up with...

All thanks to Mike Long, the cowboy who saved my cow and keeps her healthy and happy for me.


  1. Hesat - An Egyptian cow goddess. The ancient Egyptians referred to milk as 'the beer of Hesat'.

  2. Bitsy "I Ain't Yo Burger" Long-Weinfurt.

    1. "Bitsy" because she's not so itsy, and it just sounds cow-ish.

    2. "I Ain't Yo Burger" because this is what she would say in an introduction after snapping her fingers in a z formation (that is, in the animated Disney imagination land where cows have opposable thumbs and can talk).

    3. "Long" after the cowboy who saved her.

    4. "Weinfurt" because, really, she's kind of moving up in the family given your cat's bad's okay, you don't have to say it, I said it for you.

    5. Her initials would be BIAYBLW, which would make for a really pretty monogrammed towel.

  3. I took one look at her and "Blanche" came to mind. :)

  4. Corndog.

    Or Pinto Bean.

    Or Burger.

    Or Pleather (also known, incidentally, as naugahyde).

  5. 1. Blanch (my favorite Golden Girl)

    2. Lanolyn ( I don't know her name. What is it? Lanolin? La-lanolin, like-- like sheep's wool." ...

  6. Hildegarde.... After the most famous supper club performer ever... AND she was raised in New "Holstein", Wisconsin... which is freakishly ironic...

  7. How about "Moo." That's what I wanted to name my cat but my husband wouldn't let me... :)

  8. She lives in Weston, saved by O'Mally's pub — I'd call her Craic "a quintessentially Irish form of fun"