Sunday, March 22, 2009

The Plan? To Continue To Not Make Plans.

I endured a very traumatic childhood incident. It was when I was very, very young --too young to remember said incident, in fact. I don't know what the incident was, but this is the only explanation I can come up with as to why I hate to -- no, cannot -- make plans in advance. I physically react to the notion, shaking and feeling fidgety. I just don't like anything about it. What if something happens, and I have to cancel? What if the other person or people get mad? What if something better comes along? What if I change my mind? I know what you're thinking...this sounds like a commitment problem. But it's not true. I love commitment. I was always the girl that said "I love you" first, just because I wanted it to be true, and I was ready to do whatever it took to stay the course. Except make plans, of course. So here I am.

My sister is visiting this next week, and she loves nothing MORE than making plans. I knew just what to prepare for her: an itinerary of events. As expected, she called me, screeching in tones only my next-door neighbor's dog could have hoped to hear. That was only three days ago. Since then, I've realized there are a few things I actually have to do while she is here that are not on the itinerary. I can feel my blood pressure rising as I write this...

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